This is not one of those mushy-make-me-throw-up "Ilovemyhusbandsooooomuch" blogs. You know the ones I'm talking about- with the cutesy photos of so-and-so's husband posing awkwardly in a blanket and pillow fort they "flirtatiously" built and supposedly slept in the whole weekend, braggy posts about how so-and-so's husband had a four course pot roast dinner and flowers waiting for them when she returned from studying late in the library, referring to their significant other with outrageous pet names that there is no WAY their husband appreciates in real life, blogging short "silly/adorable/clever/flirty" conversations they had that are tweaked so much the original connotation is completely abandoned, writing about how hot/sexy/boyishly handsome her husband is (while I hope all people are attracted to their spouses, it is very important, posting it on the internet is screaming for validation), or just straight up proclaiming love for their husband via blog "Love youuuuuuu more than life shmookie bear", as if you don't see them multiple hours every day and couldn't just tell them in REAL life? You know, the place we exist and interact with other human beings?
Seriously. Blows. my. mind.
Perfect example: (taken from actual Ilovemyhusbandsomuch blog)
Me: OK hon, well I'm gonna go start gettin' some stuff done. My to-do list is seriously this long today.
Husband: Honey, no. No, you don't. You don't have to do any of that stuff today. Just stay here and cuddle me.
Me: Actually, yes. I do. I'm not joking right now. We still have dishes in the sink from last night
Husband: No. I'm pretty sure I don't remember that. There's no dishes. I told our housekeeper to do them last night.
Me: Cute. I'm getting up.
Husband: OK but wait. My arms hurt real bad. They need some loving. Can you please just give them a quick hug before you get up?
Me: Oh fine. There. Niiiiiiiiice hug. I've seriously gotta get up now Tys.
Husband: Wait ... but my lips. They hurt too.
Me: Nice try. Not playing that game pal
Husband: Honey, no. No, you don't. You don't have to do any of that stuff today. Just stay here and cuddle me.
Me: Actually, yes. I do. I'm not joking right now. We still have dishes in the sink from last night
Husband: No. I'm pretty sure I don't remember that. There's no dishes. I told our housekeeper to do them last night.
Me: Cute. I'm getting up.
Husband: OK but wait. My arms hurt real bad. They need some loving. Can you please just give them a quick hug before you get up?
Me: Oh fine. There. Niiiiiiiiice hug. I've seriously gotta get up now Tys.
Husband: Wait ... but my lips. They hurt too.
Me: Nice try. Not playing that game pal
What I'm betting really went down:
Me: Hey husband can you help me with some stuff today, I have a lot to do.
Husband: Honey, no. No, you don't. Just let me lay here a little longer.
Me: Actually, yes. I do. I'm not joking right now. We still have dishes in the sink from last night
Husband: No. I'm pretty sure I don't remember that. There's no dishes.
Me: I'm getting up and you better come help me.
Husband: Uhhhh... My arms hurt real bad. I can't help you.
Me: ....get up now husband.
Husband: No.
Me: I hate you.
That being said, to avoid any confusion, let it be know that I truly,
truly,
truly
love my husband.
Crazy amounts.
He is my 100% perfect match.
But that will be the only time I post it, for your sake.
Bahahahahahaha! I love YOU so much! This was awesome!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. If you add the crazy Evans throat clearing you have us pegged.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the good laugh. I'm glad you live in reality and not in the shmookie fake world...
ReplyDeleteWe're glad you love your husband.
We're also glad you don't feel the need to post about it incessantly...cause i like reading what you write cause it's funny, but would probably stop if it was all about Hunter...
P.S. LOVE the new look...
ReplyDeleteAubrey you make me laugh!!! But what really cracks me up is that my Marriage Therapy PhD is screaming that that wife has been seriously manipulated and can't even see it!!! She thinks he's flirting with her! BAHHHHH That husband is not lovey flirty - he just wants to get some action and she can worry about the dishes later! He's not going to do those dishes! ...
ReplyDelete